Tweet-sized Reviews 3

Writer’s block is a real thing. It’s only now that I’ve been able to even think about writing Bamn #3. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been courted (sorta) by two websites to write film reviews, and I have an unwritten crime short that needs to be drawn by July. Hm…maybe I need to put the X-Box controller down. Or maybe --- just maybe, this has absolutely nothing to do with creativity and everything to do with laziness.

Even my Tweets have been suffering as of late.

Let’s see if we can get the writer’s ball rolling with a few Twitter-length reviews (that is, a 140 characters maximum)…

DRAG ME TO HELL

Horror and Comedy require timing to be effective. Sam Raimi apologizes for Spider-Man 3 with theatre-worthy entertainment.

TERMINATOR: SALVATION

Surprisingly, McG is too sober. In previous films, the less we saw of the future, the scarier it seemed.

THE KING OF KONG

There is a barrel full of rabid monkeys waiting for Billy Mitchell in hell. What an @$$hole.

THE HANGOVER

The beginning was pretty funny, the ending was hilarious…I was so drunk, I passed out during the middle.

ALIEN

Yeah, I’m a poser. I never saw this amazing looking film, ‘til now. God, I love flicks from the 70s and early-80s.

UP

Tons of pleasant surprises once we get to Paradise Falls --- after the opening kicks you in the tear ducts. Shhh, it’s just a cartoon.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson --- with his constantly updated features, his aviator glasses, his white socks exposed and his clothes always shimmering --- was the universal symbol for music.

It may seem like a stretch to say this now, but there was a time when Michael was the World’s ambassador. I can’t help but find irony in losing Jackson and gaining a Black president all in the same year.

Excuse me, I’m gonna dig up my “Moonwalker” VHS.

 See ya,

Troy

ZombieLand

Things have been marginally quiet on the Zombie film front. It might be safe to actually watch one again --- cause, God knows the first half of the '00s seemed to be a never-ending watery spew of Undead flicks. 

Personally, I think Shaun of the Dead is one of the greatest films ever made, but I have to admit I  I was getting a bit tired of all the repetition of genre (this was doubly bad if you we're a fanboy, comics books abused George Romero's cash cow with so much zeal it was ridiculous). Now that a few years have passed and Zed hads crawled back into his grave (on celluloid at least), it may be fun to revisit the genre. I give you kid's ZOMBIELAND...

CLICKITY-CLICK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfLaApNzzDY

 

Dremo Sample Pages

Just in case you haven't purchased The Dr. Dremo's Horrors of War comic (and you are a bad person for not doing so), DC Conspiracy has posted a sample page from each and every short story contained in the book (including a true life tale told to David Dean and I, courtesy of SPC Sergio Estavia).
It truly is a diverse mix of stories, ranging from glimpses into modern warfare, to screwball reinterpretations of combat (one creator even had his Mom write a story that he drew).
If you like stuff like "Tales from the Crypt," and "Two-Fisted Tales" then this is right up your alley.
Even if it isn't...it's like $8.00. You spend more than that to support your toe nail fetish.

The sample pages are viewable here: http://www.dcconspiracy.com/blog/2009/06/dr-dremos-taphouse-of-tall-tales-and-short-stories-the-horrors-of-wart-1.html

You can purchase Dremo over here: http://store.comixpress.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1369&zenid=1q4ggqif5eqafhv3sp59nii1r3

Oh, God! They're Making Coffee Now?!?!?

That Urban Punk (good friend, blogger, even better rival) does a series of blogs called "Android Massacre," in which (among other things) he's warns the world of the coming Robot Apocalypse. As you can imagine, the most distrurbing cautionary post come via our "friends" in Japan. It seems that every month they've developed a fiber-optic baby, or built a life-size Gundam (y'know, that last one isn't just a warning --- it's challenge), so imagine my fear when I found out that someone in Japan has also built this monstrosity...

(God Help Us All) CLICKITY-CLICK:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejROvUC-gWU&feature=email

Pixar Movie kills 10-year-old girl!

So, I gotta ask...if she didn't see the film would she still be alive?

I'm horrible. I know. 

CLICK CLICK BLOODY CLICK: http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=415257&GT1=28101

Updates!

Oh, God! What's happening to my life?!?! I've taken too many writing assignments! I've got OfNote in July, American Movie Trax in September, Bamn #3 in September, followed by Dr. Dremo's Crime Anthology due in July! (Let's not even get on the subject of comic conventions.)
I think I've discovered a new strain of "writer's block" where the writer has been cemented in a giant square by his own work!
...Then again, maybe that's not new at all.
I can't type anymore! I've got deadlines! Haven't you been paying attention!
Look at this layout art for Bamn #3 and take and leave me be!

Jeremiah Ogleveigh

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

The menace of Rosewood

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

Dancin' underneath his hood

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

Always got his way

Rippin' down ornaments on Christmas Day

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

Used hate in his prayers

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

With embers in his hair

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

Led an ig'nant life

Him on a horse, coming for us at night

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

Ate brown bottles for lunch

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

Was buried at R R Moench

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

His cross made him who he is

Michael at the floating tree with 2 kids

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

Sheets to cover his face

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

Burnt my place

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

Didn’t see what I did

Torched his blanket as he molested in bed

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

The dragon of his set

Jeremiah Oglveig

The scariest ghost yet

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

He treat us so poor

The fires swayed as he writhed on the floor

Jeremiah Oglveigh

He no longer wear a mask

Jeremiah Oglveigh 

His crispy white ass

Bamn #2 is Now Available At Comixpress

 

The Bamn crew is happy to announce that Bamn #2 is now available at Comixpress.

Pictured above is the cover for #2. It's our first attempt at Color. You have Jay Payne and David Dean to blame for that!

You can purchase #2 HERE or at the following link: http://store.comixpress.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1389&zenid=s5r5gdsdbj219dgkc5l4l9vrf5 

BAMN #2

Written by TROY JEFFREY ALLEN
Penciled by JAY PAYNE

Edited by RON CRISTOBAL

Bamn, a fallen pro wrestling superstar, has spent the postscript of his career throwing up in bars and living out of his car.

A chance encounter brings Bamn to a group of teenage fans who have long-idolized the has-been wrestler. Wanting to impress Bamn, the kids invite him to their backyard wrestling show. Unfortunately, the only audience they attract is the group of bullies that comprise their school s amateur wrestling team. Bamn arrives to end a confrontation between the kids and offers to teach the backyarders how to fight back.

Training day has begun...

22PGS.(each)/Black & White/Parental Advisory …$3.50 (each)

---

Windows Live™: Keep your life in sync. Check it out.

NSFW

I caught this in my inbox today. These spammers are getting more and more clever everyday (NOTE: Don't click on the link unless you're at home. It's a porn site. LOL!):

i'm writing this to you cause i want you to know how i really feel. yes, i made a bogus email to talk to you cause i don't know any other way to say all this. these past couple days it's been really killing me. i think you and i both know we're meant for each other. if you don't see it then you must be blind. i don't care what other people are going to think. i've had my eyes on you since i first laid eyes on you. sounds corny, but it's really true. i guess what i'm trying to say is this...we started off friends and now i want to end as lovers. i can honestly say that i'm starting to fall in love with you. and to tell you this way makes me disappointed cause i can't tell you in person. but know this...it may not look like i have any interest at all, but secretly i think you're the best thing that God has ever made. no seriously, i mean that from the bottom of my heart. i just want you to consider how i feel. the pictures that i have of us is probably the best thing in my life right now. i daydream all day about you at work and i can't stare at your picture all day long. it feels good to let all this out. i have a profile at profile-date.com if you search my username is "wishfulthinking". i hate doing it this way, but once you see the pictures, you'll know who i am. i hope this doesn't change our relationship in any way. please don't feel awkward next time you see me. i hope you'll feel the same way as i do. if not, i completely understand and ill leave you alone...

---

Lauren found her dream laptop. Find the PC that's right for you.

David Carradine dies

Strange. I just finished reading his journals from the making of Kill Bill on Monday:
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/04/david-carradine-dies/

Dr. Dremo's Horrors of War Review and more updates!

ComicsNews.Info gave Dr. Dremo's Horrors of War a review on their site. It's a nice little overview of the anthology title (pictured above).
The book was compiled of short war stories from the fine folks at DC Conspiracy (including one 4-page story by the Bamn crew).
You can check out the review here: http://comicnews.info/?p=7126

You can purchase Dr. Dremo's Horrors of War (I'm going to start thinking of ways to abbreviate that damn title) @ Comixpress.com OR by clicking on the following link: http://store.comixpress.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1369&zenid=1q4ggqif5eqafhv3sp59nii1r3

On the Bamn side of things, we are negotiating the details of getting issue #2 at Alliance Comics and Games (for the local level) and we are still finalizing details on making #2 available at Comixpress.com (for everyone else).

No worries...I'll let everyone know their availability as soon as I find out myself. :)

Take Care,

Troy