And SPX Goes Out Not With A Whimper But A Bamn

I'll be doing this update like a wrestling promo (ahem):

Did you hear that rumble, suckers?! That rumble under you feet, turkey? You know what that was? (No, you don't. I can tell by that goofy look on your face that you don't.) That sound, It wasn't no Rumble in the Jungle, It wasn't know Rumble in the Bronx...it was the rumble of 3 men with 3 Fed Ex boxes hitting the floor of the Small Press Expo. And those 3 boxes, each every one of them read only one address, chump, each and everyone of them read... "Bamn."
That's because last Saturday we walked into the Bethesda Marriott with thunder in our voice and lightening in our Vans, we came to SPX ready to sell like no other!
Now, the convention thought it could beat us, thought i could defeat us, and it damn sure thought it could meet us, but The Bamn Crew --- That's Jay "The House of" Payne, That's David "I'm going to take you back to school" Dean, and that's Troy "The Epic Cycle" himself --- but the Bamn Crew ain't no lightweights, fool, so believe when I say, without a shadow of a doubt: We came, we saw, and we CONquered!

(Hm...It sounded better when I practiced it in the mirror)

We'll see you in Baltimore,

Troy Jeffrey Allen: The Illest Iliad

POST SCRIPT
Thanks to all the people who remembered us last year and came back for more, to all the new readers for wasting their hard-earned $3.50 on us, to Comixpress for providing the books against all odds, and to the DC Conspiracy for making this year's SPX better than the last.

[Reviews] Zombieland

Zombieland

Starring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin

Directed by Ruben Fleischer

Written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick

Seriously, I would have paid for this --- fortunately, faux-Lady Liberty shined her Columbia Pictures beacon on me, allowing me to catch an advance screening of the second “Rom-Zom-Com” in the history of the world: Zombieland.

Yeah, it’s important that I point out the advance-ness of this screening (as all geeks know, bragging rights are like necklaces of teeth inside the enchanted walls of comic shops and horror conventions), because when Zombieland officially drops on October 2^nd, you’ll wish you were with me on the ground floor of cult status.

Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg play a pair of polar opposites forced to fend for themselves in the midst of World War Z. Eisenberg plays narrator during their cross country trip, citing his rules of survival to the delight of the audience and the irritation of Harrelson. Their path brings a love sick Eisenberg into the raccoon-eyed sites of Emma Stone and her sister (Abigail Breslin). Stone is more concerned with surviving, while Eisenberg is looking for love after his last unrequited relationship ended in Zombification.

Eisenberg comes off as a recession-friendly Michael Cera. The two both share the same method of acting (rambling and confusion), but Cera’s shtick would serve as more of a distraction, while Eisenberg carries the film with an aggressive clumsiness that eludes the former.

Zombieland is smart enough to recognize that it is walking in the dragging footsteps of Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg’s British Rom(antic)-Zom(bie)-Com(edy) Shaun of The Dead. They answer Shaun, quite cleverly, by being as d!ck-swingingly American as possible. Harrelson serves as the largest conduit to that, blasting Zombies with hunting rifles, commandeering gas-guzzling SUVs, and traveling from America’s heartland to Hollywood all in the name of deep-fried hunger with hilariously violent results.

Do the 28 Days Later-dash and go see this!

Bamn and the DC Conspiracy @ SPX This Weekend!

I know you're probably tired of me reminding you, but Bamn will be at the Small Press Expo this weekend (September 26th thru September 27th of 2009).
S.P.X. "serves as the preeminent showcase for the exhibition of independent comic books and the discovery of new creative talent."
You can find us at the DC Conspiracy area, Section F, Table 3.
We went in on a table with the fine people of DC Conspiracy, insuring ourselves a nice visible block that will reside prominently under the "I'm part of the Conspiracy" sign.
Here is some bits on what will be available at our spot:

Bamn #1
Written by TROY JEFFREY ALLEN
Penciled by JAY PAYNE
Edited by RON CRISTOBAL
Nerds vs. Jocks, Bullies vs. Misfits, the Weak vs. the Strong...Everyone loves a good underdog story, SO LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE! BAMN gets its title from the embittered main character. A surly and washed-up former pro wrestler, Bamn has spent the dying years of his career throwing up in bars. He lives out of his car and uses stolen credit cards to pay for beer. A chance encounter with a pair of local high schoolers, Art and Ian, brings him to the FWF, A backyard wrestling federation ran by the two young fans. When the school’s wrestling squad shows up to bully the kids, Bamn steps in. In a rare moment of clarity he promises all the teenagers that he’s going to teach them the most important thing they will ever learn…HOW TO FIGHT BACK AND LOOK GOOD DOING IT!
24PGS.(each)/Black & White/Parental Advisory …$3.50 (each)
http://www.bamncan.com/


Bamn #2
Written by TROY JEFFREY ALLEN
Penciled by JAY PAYNE
Edited by RON CRISTOBAL
Bamn, a fallen pro wrestling superstar, has spent the postscript of his career throwing up in bars and living out of his car.
A chance encounter brings Bamn to a group of teenage fans who have long-idolized the has-been wrestler. Wanting to impress Bamn, the kids invite him to their backyard wrestling show. Unfortunately, the only audience they attract is the group of bullies that comprise their school s amateur wrestling team. Bamn arrives to end a confrontation between the kids and offers to teach the backyarders how to fight back.
Training day has begun...
24PGS.(each)/Black & White/Parental Advisory …$3.50 (each)
http://www.bamncan.com/

Crystal Clear #1
Written by JAY PAYNE
Penciled by JAY PAYNE
Edited by KYLE REEDY and TROY JEFFREY ALLEN
The new series (the number of issues is yet to be determined) is about the title character, a promiscuous super heroine who has become a public relations nightmare. Looking to improve her image, her agent calls on a struggling comic book scribe to re-imagine her into a wholesome crusader for truth and justice. They have their work cut out for them.
It's a romantic-comedy with capes, 3 genres that Jay knows and loves (pun intended).
Jay is pulling a grand-slam for this one! He is inking, drawing, and writing this bad bear.
Crystal Clear will make its' debut at The Small Press Expo '09.
Click Here for more on SPX!
Click here for more Crystal Clear art by Jay Payne
24PGS.(each)/Color/Parental Advisory…$3.50 (each)
http://www.bamncan.com/

Dr. Dremo's Spoils of Crime
Written by TROY JEFFREY ALLEN
Penciled by JAY PAYNE
Edited by RON CRISTOBAL and EVAN KEELING
The book, titled "Dr. Dremo's Spoils of Crime," is the third in a series of anthology comics bought to you by The DC Conspiracy (the previous titles we're "Wonders of Science" and "Horrors of War"). Last year, The Bamn Crew joined up with DCC and became part of their cluster of crafty co-conspirators. We have already contributed to one anthology, and we have just put the finishing touches on our second contribution for "Crime."
The story, titled "Crime =/= Pay," focuses on the current recession and how i's can spill out onto the streets. The story is told through the eyes of Detective Spaulding.
Dr. Dremo's Spoils of Crime makes it's debut at the Small Press Expo in September.
72PGS.(each)/Black and White…$9.o0 (each)
http://www.dcconspiracy.com/blog/2009/09/the-spoils-of-crime-preview.html

Dr. Dremo's Horrors of War
Written by TROY JEFFREY ALLEN
Penciled by DAVID DEAN
Edited by EVAN KEELING
Dr. Dremo's Taphouse of Tall Tales and Short Stories: The Horrors of War is the second in a series of genre themed anthologies from Washington DC based comic creator collective the DC conspiracy.
In the fine tradition of EC comics Dr. Dremo hosts twelve stories of war and the effect it has on the people involved in it.
72PGS.(each)/Black and White…$8.o0 (each)
http://dcconspiracy.com/

For more on the Small Press Expo go to: http://www.spxpo.com/

[Bamn] SPX is this Weekend!

Crystal Clear #1

Bamn #2

Bamn #1

Just a reminder that The Bamn crew rolls into the Small Press Expo this weekend (September 26th thru September 27th 2009)! Bamn #1, Bamn #2, Dr. Dremo's Spoils of Crime, and Crystal Clear #1 will be purchasable at S.P.X. (as it is commonly called).
All 4 titles feature stories by Jay Payne, David Dean, and myself!
I've included cover images (above) of Crystal Clear and Bamn for those of you that are new to this game (I haven't come across a Dremo cover yet).
Be sure to stop by our table, pick up a book, and let us know what you think.

Here is more about SPX from their website...

What: SPX 2009
Where: Bethesda North Marriott Hotel & Conference Center
When: Open to the public Saturday and Sunday, September 26 and 27, 2009.
Times:Saturday: 11:00 am - 7:00 pmSunday: noon - 6:00 pm
Admission: One day memberships: $10.00Weekend memberships: $15.00Collected at the door the day of the show

About the Show
SPX 2009 will be held the weekend of September 26 and 27, 2009 at the Marriott Bethesda North Hotel & Conference Center in Bethesda, MD, just one mile outside the nation's capital, Washington DC. In its fourteenth year SPX now serves as the preeminent showcase for the exhibition of independent comic books and the discovery of new creative talent.
SPX will bring together over 400 artists and publishers to meet their readers, booksellers, distributors, and each other. SPX will be open to the public September 26ic from 11am Saturday, and run through 7pm that evening. The celebration continues Sunday from noon to 6pm. In addition, expect great programming all weekend long for you to enjoy!
SPX 2009 marks the thirteenth annual presentation of The Ignatz Awards for outstanding achievement in comics and cartooning. The Ignatz, named after George Herriman's brick-wielding mouse, recognizes outstanding work that challenges popular notions of what comics can achieve, both as an artform and as a means of personal expression. The Ignatz is a festival prize, the first such of the United States comic book industry. Winners will be determined by ballot during SPX and presented at the gala Ignatz Awards ceremony.
As with every year profits from SPX will go to support the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, protecting the First Amendment rights of comic book readers and professionals.

You can find more about SPX at http://www.spxpo.com/
You can find out more on Dr. Dremo's Spoils of Crime at http://www.dcconspiracy.com/
You can find out more about Crystal Clear at http://www.bamncan.com
You can find out more about Bamn at the official site: http://www.bamncan.com

[Reviews] District 9

District 9

Directed by Neil Blokamp

Written By Neil Blokamp and Terri Tatchell

Starring Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, Nathalie Bolt, Sylvaine Strike, William Allen Young, Louis Minaar, and Vanessa Haywood

You can rationalize all you want, but you will get absolutely nowhere once the “That’s racist” switch has been flicked. Hence, the plight of District 9, Neil Blokamp’s resourceful sci-fi/action film by way of South Africa.

The premise of Disctrict 9, in which aliens land unannounced in Johannesburg and are met with hostility and segregation, is as interesting as the debate it has ignited amongst it’s cranky detractors. One scene in question --- in which arms-smuggling, drug-dealing, Nigerians are compounding further stereotypes by cannibalizing alien parts and performing ritualistic voodoo on the devourers --- has justifiably garnered plenty of criticism.

Having seen the movie in theatres, two things (to me) are clear:

1. Director Neil Blokamp and producer Peter Jackson had the best of intentions and made a huge oversight and…
2. …the people who are dubbing the film “racist” are being a bit over-sensitive on the subject.

District 9, with it’s oft-mentioned $30 million budget, has a subtext that is far-reaching (New Orleans, Africans, Iraqis, Mexicans…oh, we could do this all day), which in turn means the critical-eye on the film will gaze even further. This makes the movie’s depictions even worse since it is preaching tolerance.

In a summer that has already made way for marijuana-eyed, gold teeth, ebonics-slinging, illiterate, transforming robots, it’s a shame that District 9 couldn’t be the Obama-approved answer to Transformer 2’s disregard.

005[AndroidMassacreSecretTransmission] that_clever_replicant

I am officially posting a bounty for the head of this conscienceless device (pictured above)!
For the last month The Android Massacre has been utilizing every single avenue to combat the barrage of spam that has polluted our blog. Initially, we were foolish enough to think we we're just simple vicitms of the internet (maybe we did need vitamin E and penis enlargements, after all), however, further investigation proved that these were a series of isolated attacks, meant solely to cripple our site and the morale of our ever growing army of anti-Robot Freedom Fighters.
Now, for those of you who received our mail-in pamphlet titled Don't Feel Bad for Killing Robots...They Have No Soul: The Official Doctrine of The Android Massacre, you know that page 129 section 2.1 (It's a big pamphlet) states "Androids can only mimic human behavior...their emotions are disingenuous and based solely on what they have downloaded from movies and television onto their EMO chip."
Well true to form (and gloating like some sort of villainous romantic from an 80s action flick), "cleverreplicant" informed us that it was responsible for the damages to our page!

Donning an avatar that looks like that_urban_punk, and proceeding to mock U.P. and myself all over the Twitterverse, "cleverreplicant" couldn’t help but put a name and face to the THING that has been spamming our site.

Mark my words, you glorified washing machine, once we narrow down what Mac Upgrade store you are hiding under…this war of “tweets” will quickly become a war for mankind! Then we will see how "clever" you really are…

[Bamn] Crystal Clear Coming Soon

Her is some new promo art for "Crystal Clear."
The new series (the number of issues is yet to be determined) is about the title character, a promiscuous superheroine who has become a public relations nightmare. Looking to improve her image, her agent calls on a struggling comic book scribe to re-imagine her into a wholesome crusader for truth and justice. They have their work cut out for them.
It's a romantic-comedy with capes, 3 genres that Jay knows and loves (pun intended).
Jay is pulling a grand-slam for this one! He is inking, drawing, and writing this bad bear.
Crystal Clear will make its' debut at The Small Press Expo '09.
Click Here for more on SPX!
Click here for more Crystal Clear art by Jay Payne

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Posted By Contact us at BamnCan@hotmail.com to Bamn at 9/16/2009 07:19:00 PM

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[Review] Afghan Star

The September issue of OfNote Magazine dropped late last week. Guess who reviewed Afghan Star for their Film section? Yeah...I'm talking about me here.
CLICKITY-CLICK for what's OfNote in September
OR
Go to their website to get straight to the review: http://ofnotemagazine.org/2009/07/01/afghan-star-mass-media-versus-islamic-tradition/

[Reviews] Inglorious Basterds

Inglorious Basterds

Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino

Starring Brad Pitt, Melanie Laurent, Christoph Waltz, Eli Roth, Diane Fassbender, Diane Krueger, Daniel Bruhl

Remember when Americans we’re the good guys in movies? Quentin Tarantino does, and for that reason his latest serves as willingly inconsiderate World War II propaganda.

Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt, with mixed results) leads a Dirty half-Dozen, pissed off, Nazi-scalping Jews on a mission to strike fear into the heart of Germany’s fear-mongers. But they have to contend with Col. Hans Landa, Hitler’s head Hebrew hunter.

Landa is played with Give-the-man-an-Oscar precision by Christoph Waltz (though Melanie Laurent and Diane Krueger are far from inglorious). Waltz, is so ideally villainous that it completely compensates for the patience-testing lengthy-ness of some scenes (and the presence of Eli Roth).

Tarantino is a cinephile, and his historical inaccuracy, bad grammar, and disregard for the original film, isn’t so harsh when you consider the war films of the period it is depicting.

It may not be his masterpiece, but it is masterful.

[Bamn] Bamn #1! Now Available @ Third Eye Comics!

The fine people at Third Eye Comics have officially started selling Bamn #1 at their location in Annapolis, MD.
Third Eye is one of the newer comic stores in the state of Maryland. Their shop is far more contemporary than most in the area, and it's staff is energetic, friendly, and super-organized --- a testement to it's youthful ownership. It truly is a comic shop that caters to the new the new breed of geek that has emerged in the last decade.
You can check out more at their site: http://www.thirdeyecomics.com/

Also...
We've had our ear to the ground and plenty of you have been wondering about the availability of Bamn #2. Well, you can purchase it at Comixpress' online store, or you can do what plenty of you did last year, and purchase your copy at the Small Press Expo in Bethesda(On September 26th and 27th) ! You can also get a second chance to pick up Bamn #2 at the Baltimore Comic Con on October 10 and 11th.
Show some love, continue the beer-soaked saga of Bamn, and support you local indy comic geek...

Small Press Expo: http://www.spxpo.com/
Baltimore Comic Con: http://www.comicon.com/baltimore/
Comixpress: http://store.comixpress.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1389&zenid=s5r5gdsdbj219dgkc5l4l9vrf5

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Posted By Contact us at BamnCan@hotmail.com to Bamn at 9/09/2009 07:52:00 AM

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Reviews: Thirst

Thirst

Directed by Chan –wook Park

Written by Seon-Gyeong Jeong, Chan wook-Park, and Emile Zola

Starring Kang-ho Song, Ok-vin Kim, Hae-sook Kim, and Ha-kyun Shin

A few years ago, filmmaker Chan –wook Park earned his spot in my cinema skybox with his operatic “Vengeance Trilogy.” The director of Oldboy, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and Lady Vengeance, utilized his storytelling tools to create three apathetic revenge fantasies about three tragically empathetic characters.

Thirst, Park’s latest, employs a lot of these same tools, but lacks the deliberateness of those films.

Kang-ho Song plays Sang-hyeon, a disgruntled Catholic priest looking for a higher-er purpose. He feels his role as a clergyman isn’t influencing anything, and finds the world of science more affecting. When a deadly debilitating disease called “E.V.” begins to claim lives in and outside of Korea, Sang-hyeon thinks he can make a true contribution to humanity by sacrificing himself to science. E.V. is vampiric in nature, and when the man of God subjects himself to the E.V. vaccine, he quickly becomes a creature of Satan. San-hyeon tries to latch on to his humanity as best as possible, but his bloodlust calls out to him, which is alluring to, sleepwalking desperate housewife, Tae-joo (played with dangerous invitation by Ok-vin Kim). It doesn’t take long for them to become joined at the pelvis, giving way to a domino effect of wantonness.

If my description of Thirst feels a bit stumble-y, it’s because that’s how parts of the film feel --- like a rambling conversation instead of an allegorical bloodsucker tale. Park wants to make a statement about how it’s best to leave things in wanting, but he loses the story’s demeanor about halfway through and doesn’t regain sobriety until the film’s beautiful closing moments.

Saying Goodbye to "Ronaman"

Our good friend, Ron Cristobal (Musician, Editor of Bamn, and M.D.) is leaving the Bamn Crew to begin his residency in Big Texas.
Ron was gracious enough to volunteer to edit Bamn back in 2008, and was responsible for helping us produce Bamn #2 (in my opinion our most solid issue yet) and re-edit Bamn #1.
His awesome bedside manner proved very useful when it came to the creative process and his presence will be sorely missed.
That is not to say that Ron is GONE gone. Ever the multi-tasking trooper, Cristobal will be editing Bamn via e-mail and attending our weekly meeting courtesy of Skype. Who knows...we may even put some of our video meetings on our website so BamnCan.com can leap into the world of technology.
We wish Ron the best of luck in Texas, and hope that he will be at the E.R. when Jay and I attempt to kill each other over Bamn's final issue.

Take Care,

Troy